In an e-mail last year (2000) from the artist Carol Lind Geary [see website www.wholeo.net], with whom I had renewed contact after forty years, I was gratified to find the following. I had not told her the terms in which I myself had been thinking about Carol. But evidently we had both been looking in the same direction.
I remember her as aware and caring but non-judgemental. I always thought she got that talent partly from her minister father. She was very positive.
I remember the books she told me about. Paul Tillich and Martin Buber. These helped a lot. Tillich’s concept of “the courage to be apart” was not something I ever was good at and it helped me. Carol could relate and say, here’s what helped me….
One topic that looms large is "resistance". That word sort of bellows out as an important concept about being in a relationship.
It might have come up relating to something in my life. But as Carol articulated her view, it seemed like a stance Carol had discovered that was valuable. Like a position of the individual resisting exterior forces.
It also involved honoring resistance encountered in the other person.